Each moment in each event
There's always something to remember
Whether for good or bad
'tis bittersweet indeed
Something to smile about
Even after all these times
The joy from that distant past
Its echo still bring about a smile
Such are the good old times
Pleasant, warm memories that lingers
Just like an old photograph
That captures the sense of the moment
So then, let's make tomorrow better than today
So that in the times to come
We can remember our present days fondly
Just like we did with our past memories today
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
A stroke of breath
A moment of respite
A temporary sigh of relief
One precious little moment of rest
Before the struggle is rekindled
Before the battle would be won, or lost
Beyond shame, beyond loss
Honour matters not,
For it can be easily cast off
Like the sand that was swept by the ocean
With a resolute mind
And a heart as deep as ocean
One last thrust of life to the future
With no regret left behind
Live your life well!
For life is but a fleeting moment
The brightest light from a candle
In the last moment
A temporary sigh of relief
One precious little moment of rest
Before the struggle is rekindled
Before the battle would be won, or lost
Beyond shame, beyond loss
Honour matters not,
For it can be easily cast off
Like the sand that was swept by the ocean
With a resolute mind
And a heart as deep as ocean
One last thrust of life to the future
With no regret left behind
Live your life well!
For life is but a fleeting moment
The brightest light from a candle
In the last moment
Friday, January 20, 2006
Be Human ~ In Search for a purpose
Taken from http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/ghostshell/behuman.htm
Be Human
Tachikoma Song
Vocals: Scott Matthew
Music: Yoko Kanno
I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
100 percentile no errors no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
Don't worry 'bout dreaming because I don't sleep --
I wish I could at least 30 percent
Maybe 50 for pleasure then skip all the rest
If I only was more human
I would count every single second the rest of my life
If I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife
I'd roll around in mud and have lots of fun then when I was done
Build bubblebath towers and swim in the tub
Sand Castles on the beach, frolick in the sea, get a broken knee
Be scared of the dark and I'd sing out of key
Curse when I lost a fight, kiss and reunite, scratch a spider's bite
Be happy with wrinkles I got when I smile
Pet kittens 'till they purred, maybe keep a bird, always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies and laugh 'till it hurt
I'd buy a big bike, I'd ride by the lake
And I'd have lots of friends and I'd stay out too late
If I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
If only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life
Would I care and be forgiving?
Would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
Would I doubt and have misgivings?
Would I cause someone sorrow too? Would I know what to do?
Will I cry when its all over?
When I die will I see Heaven?
Sometimes, I do envy people with purposes in their life. Watching their determination, that spirit that can withstand anything and everything.....If only I had a purpose in my life! Days after days fly away, with nothing amusing, or noticeable. Sometimes, I lost track of time, because each and everyday is the same, with little or no variation. Sleeping on odd hours, eating irregularly, sitting here in front of my laptop doing close to nothing. No motivation to do something, because I feel no sense of purpose on doing anything. What have I become? When one contemplates the answer, I think one can say that one have become less human. Unconvinced? Well, check out the lyrics of this song, then.
Human needs a purpose, and a sense of accomplishment that follows when the purpose is reached. Upon completion, they need to find a new purpose, and repeat, ad infinitum. When you think about it, it's kinda funny. To be a human, and to feel like human, we have to act like machines. Well, not that it's bad or something, it's just kinda.....absurd. Liberally quoting Goenawan Muhammad from one of his column that I like to read on Tempo (sigh.....miss that magazine for Goenawan Muhammad's column alone.....), the very essence of human is the absurdity itself. Human projects themselves through the most absurd and the most extreme of things, so that human would continue to feel. As we all know, human is very familiar with the concept of "numbness". For example, it is impossible to have a bone broken on the very same place, because the broken part of the bone usually is much stronger than the other part of the bone. So, since it is stronger etc. etc. etc., the "pain threshold", so to speak, would also be higher. The same degree of stimuli that usually stimulate a response, would lose its efficacy, and thus, the feeling of numbness. As human is a creature that need information and stimuli as much as they need the air to breathe, they need to increase the degree of stimuli, so that the stimuli would be able to "cross" the ever-increasing "numbness threshold". Well, to avoid myself of being accused as a masochist, try to change the word "pain" into something else. For example, taste of food, love, money, power.....that unquenchable thirst, that reflects the human fear of not being able to acquire enough stimuli to overcome the numbness threshold, and as such, stop himself of being human. Certainly, a human who can feel nothing cannot be called human, no?
The interesting question here is, can a person that have become "de-humanized", so to speak, become "humanized"? Well,theoretically, they can. Give them some sense of purpose, something completely "new" that they cannot help but turn their heads on the new direction/s. Instead of hammering the bone over and over, try to prick the skin, or poke the ear. Hopefully, then, they would know how does it feel to "feel" once again, and they become more humanized. For the ever-pessimistic, the question of what would happened if it is impossible for the human not to feel again, ever after, you may want to discuss that one with the ever-optimistic, who believes that they would find a way somehow. Hopefully, both of you would find a point where both of you would agree upon something.
To end this blog entry that was quite rarely updated, I do hope that I may find a purpose soon, or else, the purpose may find his/her/its way to me, which I greatly doubt. Anyway, please do enjoy this not-so-enjoyable-and-foul-humoured-mood blog entry, and the terrific anime lyrics of Be Human. For those who want to listen the song, I believe you know where to contact me. As for now, the decision is either to sleep, and let my body wake upon God-knows-what hour, and miss my first lab session of my module (oops, missed one already, stupid timetable!), or to stay up the night, going to morning classes, and going to my practical from 2-6 p.m. Life's all about tough choices, eh?
Chaosbeowulf
Be Human
Tachikoma Song
Vocals: Scott Matthew
Music: Yoko Kanno
I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
100 percentile no errors no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
Don't worry 'bout dreaming because I don't sleep --
I wish I could at least 30 percent
Maybe 50 for pleasure then skip all the rest
If I only was more human
I would count every single second the rest of my life
If I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife
I'd roll around in mud and have lots of fun then when I was done
Build bubblebath towers and swim in the tub
Sand Castles on the beach, frolick in the sea, get a broken knee
Be scared of the dark and I'd sing out of key
Curse when I lost a fight, kiss and reunite, scratch a spider's bite
Be happy with wrinkles I got when I smile
Pet kittens 'till they purred, maybe keep a bird, always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies and laugh 'till it hurt
I'd buy a big bike, I'd ride by the lake
And I'd have lots of friends and I'd stay out too late
If I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
If only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life
Would I care and be forgiving?
Would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
Would I doubt and have misgivings?
Would I cause someone sorrow too? Would I know what to do?
Will I cry when its all over?
When I die will I see Heaven?
Sometimes, I do envy people with purposes in their life. Watching their determination, that spirit that can withstand anything and everything.....If only I had a purpose in my life! Days after days fly away, with nothing amusing, or noticeable. Sometimes, I lost track of time, because each and everyday is the same, with little or no variation. Sleeping on odd hours, eating irregularly, sitting here in front of my laptop doing close to nothing. No motivation to do something, because I feel no sense of purpose on doing anything. What have I become? When one contemplates the answer, I think one can say that one have become less human. Unconvinced? Well, check out the lyrics of this song, then.
Human needs a purpose, and a sense of accomplishment that follows when the purpose is reached. Upon completion, they need to find a new purpose, and repeat, ad infinitum. When you think about it, it's kinda funny. To be a human, and to feel like human, we have to act like machines. Well, not that it's bad or something, it's just kinda.....absurd. Liberally quoting Goenawan Muhammad from one of his column that I like to read on Tempo (sigh.....miss that magazine for Goenawan Muhammad's column alone.....), the very essence of human is the absurdity itself. Human projects themselves through the most absurd and the most extreme of things, so that human would continue to feel. As we all know, human is very familiar with the concept of "numbness". For example, it is impossible to have a bone broken on the very same place, because the broken part of the bone usually is much stronger than the other part of the bone. So, since it is stronger etc. etc. etc., the "pain threshold", so to speak, would also be higher. The same degree of stimuli that usually stimulate a response, would lose its efficacy, and thus, the feeling of numbness. As human is a creature that need information and stimuli as much as they need the air to breathe, they need to increase the degree of stimuli, so that the stimuli would be able to "cross" the ever-increasing "numbness threshold". Well, to avoid myself of being accused as a masochist, try to change the word "pain" into something else. For example, taste of food, love, money, power.....that unquenchable thirst, that reflects the human fear of not being able to acquire enough stimuli to overcome the numbness threshold, and as such, stop himself of being human. Certainly, a human who can feel nothing cannot be called human, no?
The interesting question here is, can a person that have become "de-humanized", so to speak, become "humanized"? Well,theoretically, they can. Give them some sense of purpose, something completely "new" that they cannot help but turn their heads on the new direction/s. Instead of hammering the bone over and over, try to prick the skin, or poke the ear. Hopefully, then, they would know how does it feel to "feel" once again, and they become more humanized. For the ever-pessimistic, the question of what would happened if it is impossible for the human not to feel again, ever after, you may want to discuss that one with the ever-optimistic, who believes that they would find a way somehow. Hopefully, both of you would find a point where both of you would agree upon something.
To end this blog entry that was quite rarely updated, I do hope that I may find a purpose soon, or else, the purpose may find his/her/its way to me, which I greatly doubt. Anyway, please do enjoy this not-so-enjoyable-and-foul-humoured-mood blog entry, and the terrific anime lyrics of Be Human. For those who want to listen the song, I believe you know where to contact me. As for now, the decision is either to sleep, and let my body wake upon God-knows-what hour, and miss my first lab session of my module (oops, missed one already, stupid timetable!), or to stay up the night, going to morning classes, and going to my practical from 2-6 p.m. Life's all about tough choices, eh?
Chaosbeowulf
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Need....update.....before....long..... ~A random rant
Lamentations
Fare thee well, my friend
For I have fallen prey
To the most wretched of creatures
A creature, who shall go unnamed
From the brightest light it came
Nay, no nightmare can come from the dark!
With all its dazzles, it enraptures the heart
Prison it in its grip, not one to let go
Ah! To be free again!
'Twas but a pleasant dream of yesterday
Time.....is there such a thing as time?
Its moving hands mocking,
a sign of tranquil, eternal damnation!
'Twas a sad thing, indeed
to be prisoned within the body
A superficial glorious prison
Which harbours a rotten core!
All that glimmers is not gold,
all that glimmers strongly hold!
In darkness, truth would be found,
In the brightest despair, darkest hope would be found!
Ah! To be able to hope!
Treasure your darkness, beloved,
For it would save your soul
From the glittering lies of the world!
Now, now, give out some comments, will ya?
Wrote this piece in the midst of frustation of seemingly endless bad luck, which, in a matter of speaking, is the result of own doing. Oh well, just wanna have some rant about how the world is not even gray anymore, but instead, the definition of black and white is not even matching anymore. White is black, black is white......what the world is coming to? Well, just having some hope that in the midst of this chaos, one would still be able to judge and retain one's own place and equilibrium. Well, one can still choose to be the lesser chaos, just like being the eye of the storm (which is not stormy at all) in the midst of the raging storm. Off to slacking! One more paper!
Fare thee well, my friend
For I have fallen prey
To the most wretched of creatures
A creature, who shall go unnamed
From the brightest light it came
Nay, no nightmare can come from the dark!
With all its dazzles, it enraptures the heart
Prison it in its grip, not one to let go
Ah! To be free again!
'Twas but a pleasant dream of yesterday
Time.....is there such a thing as time?
Its moving hands mocking,
a sign of tranquil, eternal damnation!
'Twas a sad thing, indeed
to be prisoned within the body
A superficial glorious prison
Which harbours a rotten core!
All that glimmers is not gold,
all that glimmers strongly hold!
In darkness, truth would be found,
In the brightest despair, darkest hope would be found!
Ah! To be able to hope!
Treasure your darkness, beloved,
For it would save your soul
From the glittering lies of the world!
Now, now, give out some comments, will ya?
Wrote this piece in the midst of frustation of seemingly endless bad luck, which, in a matter of speaking, is the result of own doing. Oh well, just wanna have some rant about how the world is not even gray anymore, but instead, the definition of black and white is not even matching anymore. White is black, black is white......what the world is coming to? Well, just having some hope that in the midst of this chaos, one would still be able to judge and retain one's own place and equilibrium. Well, one can still choose to be the lesser chaos, just like being the eye of the storm (which is not stormy at all) in the midst of the raging storm. Off to slacking! One more paper!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Forgotten, but not lost
The screaming whistle
of the departing train
Another snowy day in December
Another station to depart from
There is no turning back
What was left behind
Was all the time of the past
Every single second of it
Even though we want to stop
Even though we want to go faster or slower
We cannot change what was, is, and will be eternal
The steady state of the train of time
Well, I guess that for my new year's resolution, at this point of time, most were already achieved, even though it could be better. Moreover, what is important is that again, I guess I have evolved, although I don't know whether it is for the better or the worse. People change, but for some people like me, who are afraid of changes, it is one scary moment to be faced. Well, nobody like the first stage of changes, but obviously after a while, they will enjoy it. The train of time will stop to whichever station it wants to stop. It is up to us to buy all we need and want from that station, or grumbling about everything and lose the ability to move on. Hopefully I will not be a hypocrite, and with my current stage of lazyness, I will be able to do what I can.
Saturday, 1 May 2004
chaos_beowulf
This is a letter-to-self that I made during ICy 2nd's academic-year-end retreat. I just got it back recently, and there's quite a mixed feeling upon receiving it back. Well, to sum it all up, the feeling is nostalgic. During my years on uni, I have evolve, or forced to evolve, from an adolescent boy to a man. Many things are lost, and many things are gained. If I see what I am now, in the next 10 years, will I still feel the same thing I fell now? I think that's why I'm so afraid of changes, because in a way, I don't like the change in how everything feels. Well, guess that I'm still not mature enough to understand what "changes" means. God, I even hate changing from a boy to a man! How mature is that? I just hope that after I pass my teenage years (yes, I'm not 20 yet as of now), I still retain my current self, and add some more, without losing anything. (greedisgood, warcraft cheat any1?)
of the departing train
Another snowy day in December
Another station to depart from
There is no turning back
What was left behind
Was all the time of the past
Every single second of it
Even though we want to stop
Even though we want to go faster or slower
We cannot change what was, is, and will be eternal
The steady state of the train of time
Well, I guess that for my new year's resolution, at this point of time, most were already achieved, even though it could be better. Moreover, what is important is that again, I guess I have evolved, although I don't know whether it is for the better or the worse. People change, but for some people like me, who are afraid of changes, it is one scary moment to be faced. Well, nobody like the first stage of changes, but obviously after a while, they will enjoy it. The train of time will stop to whichever station it wants to stop. It is up to us to buy all we need and want from that station, or grumbling about everything and lose the ability to move on. Hopefully I will not be a hypocrite, and with my current stage of lazyness, I will be able to do what I can.
Saturday, 1 May 2004
chaos_beowulf
This is a letter-to-self that I made during ICy 2nd's academic-year-end retreat. I just got it back recently, and there's quite a mixed feeling upon receiving it back. Well, to sum it all up, the feeling is nostalgic. During my years on uni, I have evolve, or forced to evolve, from an adolescent boy to a man. Many things are lost, and many things are gained. If I see what I am now, in the next 10 years, will I still feel the same thing I fell now? I think that's why I'm so afraid of changes, because in a way, I don't like the change in how everything feels. Well, guess that I'm still not mature enough to understand what "changes" means. God, I even hate changing from a boy to a man! How mature is that? I just hope that after I pass my teenage years (yes, I'm not 20 yet as of now), I still retain my current self, and add some more, without losing anything. (greedisgood, warcraft cheat any1?)
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Pearls
Now this, this is what I call a beautiful song!
PEARLS
Composer: Yoko Kanno
Singer: Ilaria Graziano
Tra le mie braccia fragili
Stringo il vuoto che sa di te
Respiro le tue parole che
Vivono in una melodia
E dolcemente suonerò
I luminosi tramonti riflessi nei
tuoi occhi languidi e grandi
le mie perle d’amore
in uno sguardo tu
sai donare un sorriso al mio volto che
ora ti cerca tra lacrime
che hanno formato l’oceano
in quale sento ritornerai da me
La pallida luna m’illumina
Mentre il vento mi parla di te
La danza del mare ti porterà
Sulle rive della realtà
E finalmente ti rivedrò
Ti trovi l’ombra dei sogni miei ma anche tu
Sussurri piano al mio orecchio
Perle d’amore
in uno sguardo tu
sai donare un sorriso al mio volto che
ora ti cerca le lacrime
che hanno formato l’oceano
nel quale sempre ritornerai da me
Translations:
Between my weak (fragile) arms
I hold (strongly) the void that reminds of you
I breath your words that
live in a melody
and I will sweetly play
the bright sunsets reflected in
your tender and big eyes
my pearl of love
In one look you
know how to give (donate) a smile to my face that
now is looking for you between (covered) by tears
that have made the ocean
in which I feel you will return to me
The pale moon is lightening me
meanwhile the wind is speaking of (about) you
the dance of the sea will bring you
on the shores of the reality
And finally I will see you again
You find the shadow of my dreams but you too (not sure this lane)
whispers gently to my ear
pearls of love
in one look you
know how to donate a smile to my face that
now is looking for you, the tears
that made the ocean
in which always you will come back to me
I took the lyrics and translation from somewhere, and I really want to give them some credits, but then, since I use this one for personal use, I don't think that they would mind. =P
PEARLS
Composer: Yoko Kanno
Singer: Ilaria Graziano
Tra le mie braccia fragili
Stringo il vuoto che sa di te
Respiro le tue parole che
Vivono in una melodia
E dolcemente suonerò
I luminosi tramonti riflessi nei
tuoi occhi languidi e grandi
le mie perle d’amore
in uno sguardo tu
sai donare un sorriso al mio volto che
ora ti cerca tra lacrime
che hanno formato l’oceano
in quale sento ritornerai da me
La pallida luna m’illumina
Mentre il vento mi parla di te
La danza del mare ti porterà
Sulle rive della realtà
E finalmente ti rivedrò
Ti trovi l’ombra dei sogni miei ma anche tu
Sussurri piano al mio orecchio
Perle d’amore
in uno sguardo tu
sai donare un sorriso al mio volto che
ora ti cerca le lacrime
che hanno formato l’oceano
nel quale sempre ritornerai da me
Translations:
Between my weak (fragile) arms
I hold (strongly) the void that reminds of you
I breath your words that
live in a melody
and I will sweetly play
the bright sunsets reflected in
your tender and big eyes
my pearl of love
In one look you
know how to give (donate) a smile to my face that
now is looking for you between (covered) by tears
that have made the ocean
in which I feel you will return to me
The pale moon is lightening me
meanwhile the wind is speaking of (about) you
the dance of the sea will bring you
on the shores of the reality
And finally I will see you again
You find the shadow of my dreams but you too (not sure this lane)
whispers gently to my ear
pearls of love
in one look you
know how to donate a smile to my face that
now is looking for you, the tears
that made the ocean
in which always you will come back to me
I took the lyrics and translation from somewhere, and I really want to give them some credits, but then, since I use this one for personal use, I don't think that they would mind. =P
Saturday, August 27, 2005
C/B's Theme Song
inner universe
vocal: Origa, words: Origa / Shanti Snyder, music: Yoko kanno
Ангелы и демоны кружили надо мной
Разбивали тернии и звёздные пути
Не знает счастья только тот,
Кто его зова понять не смог...
I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
Собой остаться дольше...
Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning...
Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and...
...Бесконечный бег...
Пока жива я могу стараться на лету не упасть,
Не разучиться мечтать...любить...
...Бесконечный бег...
Calling Calling, For the place of knowing
There's more that what can be linked
Calling Calling, Never will I look away
For what life has left for me
Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
Собой остаться дольше...
vocal: Origa, words: Origa / Shanti Snyder, music: Yoko kanno
Ангелы и демоны кружили надо мной
Разбивали тернии и звёздные пути
Не знает счастья только тот,
Кто его зова понять не смог...
I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
Собой остаться дольше...
Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning...
Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and...
...Бесконечный бег...
Пока жива я могу стараться на лету не упасть,
Не разучиться мечтать...любить...
...Бесконечный бег...
Calling Calling, For the place of knowing
There's more that what can be linked
Calling Calling, Never will I look away
For what life has left for me
Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
Собой остаться дольше...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
Собой остаться дольше...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Jelambar, Kavling Polri Blok D polos / 901
And now, there will be no place to turn back to
For home, the original place that define the origin
Had been snatched away by the hands of time and fate
We are forever the eternal refugee
Seeking for place of warmth and comfort
A place called home, who provides such things
But losing the home where we are originated,
Where we first know of things such as warmth and comfort
Is as great a loss as the loss of a parent and a mentor
We are eternal refugee, and the eternal builder
For our lives are the lives of the cotton flower
We live there, with our root firmly attached
And when we have to leave, we would build a place
Where another root would firm another cotton flower
There will be other places where we can anchor ourselves to
But nothing would replace the place
Where we uncurled our little leaves, and blossom
Into cotton flowers, flying to build our own root
Dedicated to the old house of Jalan Hadiah Utama IA /901.
Sayonara.....
For home, the original place that define the origin
Had been snatched away by the hands of time and fate
We are forever the eternal refugee
Seeking for place of warmth and comfort
A place called home, who provides such things
But losing the home where we are originated,
Where we first know of things such as warmth and comfort
Is as great a loss as the loss of a parent and a mentor
We are eternal refugee, and the eternal builder
For our lives are the lives of the cotton flower
We live there, with our root firmly attached
And when we have to leave, we would build a place
Where another root would firm another cotton flower
There will be other places where we can anchor ourselves to
But nothing would replace the place
Where we uncurled our little leaves, and blossom
Into cotton flowers, flying to build our own root
Dedicated to the old house of Jalan Hadiah Utama IA /901.
Sayonara.....
Friday, August 05, 2005
Heroes
Where are the heroes today?
Those, whose fingers wrote down histories
Those, who were disillusioned of their act
Those, who understand the weight of the word, "sacrifice"
And no, there are no heroes born today
For borned heroes, would be adeptly persecuted and executed
By the very things they try to save and protect
"Don't try to be any hero!"
"Use your common sense!"
"What good is trying to be a hero?"
And as such, gone are the heroes
Even when they are needed the most,
Even when they are pleaded upon,
They would not come again.
They cannot come again.
For heroes, are just animated corpses
Which are resurrected, time and again
By the ungrateful, who cannot be satisfied
And kill those, who satisfy.
Those, whose fingers wrote down histories
Those, who were disillusioned of their act
Those, who understand the weight of the word, "sacrifice"
And no, there are no heroes born today
For borned heroes, would be adeptly persecuted and executed
By the very things they try to save and protect
"Don't try to be any hero!"
"Use your common sense!"
"What good is trying to be a hero?"
And as such, gone are the heroes
Even when they are needed the most,
Even when they are pleaded upon,
They would not come again.
They cannot come again.
For heroes, are just animated corpses
Which are resurrected, time and again
By the ungrateful, who cannot be satisfied
And kill those, who satisfy.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Journey to the not-so-west
The journey to the northwest
To the foreign land
Not as a castaway, yet feeling like one
Not as a runaway, yet feeling like one
In the new promised land
Time moves no differently
The past on the old land
Forgotten with the passing of time
However, is it to be forgotten?
Shouldn't it be remembered instead?
With all the power of the mind?
For oneself is in one's past?
What is there to build for tomorrow,
If there is no foundation to build upon?
What is there for the newborn soul,
If there is nothing to return to?
Longing for companion,
But is companion, what one seeks for?
Longing for self-assurance,
But is self assurance, what one needs?
What lies in one's fate?
When will one stops questioning,
And follow the drifting raft,
Guided by the flow of nature?
Dancing under the vastness of the sky
Won't one feel as insignificant as one can be?
If one is insignificant,
Then will one worthy of questioning one's self?
Never seek the answer
For there are no answer
One's self is an answer
For an unknown question
C.B.I.
Notes: Now I just remember that my poem almost never have any title. I think that when I start giving title to my poem, I limit myself and the poem itself. When one has no title, one is free, and this is what I intend to be. For I am a ronin, who has forgotten the flow of the waves
Bwahahahaha.....the entry above is from my 1st blog, which I happily proclaim as being discontinued. And now, because of the piling boredom, anxiety, angst, and uncertainty, I just re-checked my old blogs, and I haven't post this one here. Oh well, due to the lagging update of this blog, it's better than nothing, right?
hm......I think this is what I wrote about when I have to remind myself that I have to have a will and a purpose to continue living decently; both things are lacking from my life, and one can say that one live only because that's what has to be done =P Sounds depressing and suicidal, I know, but, to be honest about our own feeling and fear is nothing bad, right? just being boldly honest here, mind you.....
Actually, it's quite funny. To live so that the purpose of your life, which is to try to find a purpose in the life to make life fuller, can be satisfied can be considered as quite absurd. Living without any purpose, any will, just live everyday like it should be, purposeless rituals, etc. Guess these are thoughts that sprouts like wild grasses when your mind is wandering where it should not be going (c'mon, one more final exam! stupid schedule!) With things the way they are now, I think this piece of poem serves my purpose right. There's going to be a lot of change next semester, and I don't know whether I'm ready or not, whether I'm going to like it or not, whether anything is going to change for the better or not. Hell, I feel like my life is being controlled by a big bad joker named Fate, and I don't have any control on my life. Sure, we share the control now and then, but strangely, I was comforted and yet angered by the dominant control of Fate.
By this line, I'm sure the readers of my blog is really really confused, and to save their minds, I decide to stop writing here. Hey, still got a lot of work to be done! Stop slacking and quit yer whining! =P
P.S.: just hope that next year, my internet connection at the new place will be at the same level, or even better, than my current one. If not, meh. Like my blog is always updated anyway. ;P
To the foreign land
Not as a castaway, yet feeling like one
Not as a runaway, yet feeling like one
In the new promised land
Time moves no differently
The past on the old land
Forgotten with the passing of time
However, is it to be forgotten?
Shouldn't it be remembered instead?
With all the power of the mind?
For oneself is in one's past?
What is there to build for tomorrow,
If there is no foundation to build upon?
What is there for the newborn soul,
If there is nothing to return to?
Longing for companion,
But is companion, what one seeks for?
Longing for self-assurance,
But is self assurance, what one needs?
What lies in one's fate?
When will one stops questioning,
And follow the drifting raft,
Guided by the flow of nature?
Dancing under the vastness of the sky
Won't one feel as insignificant as one can be?
If one is insignificant,
Then will one worthy of questioning one's self?
Never seek the answer
For there are no answer
One's self is an answer
For an unknown question
C.B.I.
Notes: Now I just remember that my poem almost never have any title. I think that when I start giving title to my poem, I limit myself and the poem itself. When one has no title, one is free, and this is what I intend to be. For I am a ronin, who has forgotten the flow of the waves
Bwahahahaha.....the entry above is from my 1st blog, which I happily proclaim as being discontinued. And now, because of the piling boredom, anxiety, angst, and uncertainty, I just re-checked my old blogs, and I haven't post this one here. Oh well, due to the lagging update of this blog, it's better than nothing, right?
hm......I think this is what I wrote about when I have to remind myself that I have to have a will and a purpose to continue living decently; both things are lacking from my life, and one can say that one live only because that's what has to be done =P Sounds depressing and suicidal, I know, but, to be honest about our own feeling and fear is nothing bad, right? just being boldly honest here, mind you.....
Actually, it's quite funny. To live so that the purpose of your life, which is to try to find a purpose in the life to make life fuller, can be satisfied can be considered as quite absurd. Living without any purpose, any will, just live everyday like it should be, purposeless rituals, etc. Guess these are thoughts that sprouts like wild grasses when your mind is wandering where it should not be going (c'mon, one more final exam! stupid schedule!) With things the way they are now, I think this piece of poem serves my purpose right. There's going to be a lot of change next semester, and I don't know whether I'm ready or not, whether I'm going to like it or not, whether anything is going to change for the better or not. Hell, I feel like my life is being controlled by a big bad joker named Fate, and I don't have any control on my life. Sure, we share the control now and then, but strangely, I was comforted and yet angered by the dominant control of Fate.
By this line, I'm sure the readers of my blog is really really confused, and to save their minds, I decide to stop writing here. Hey, still got a lot of work to be done! Stop slacking and quit yer whining! =P
P.S.: just hope that next year, my internet connection at the new place will be at the same level, or even better, than my current one. If not, meh. Like my blog is always updated anyway. ;P
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Heaven? God?
"Heaven"
You don't need no friends
get back your faith again
you have the power to believe
another dissident
take back your evidence
it has no power to deceive
I'll believe it when I see it, for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive
I sit with them all night
everything they say is right
but in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
come hell or water high
down any road you choose to roam
I'll believe it when I see it for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah
darling, I believe, Oh Lord
sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord
at the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah
I'll believe it when I see it for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I don't need no one
Ohhhh
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
To tell me about heaven
I believe
I believe it, yeah
A really nice song. I like this one. It reflects my simple religious standpoint, if you want to call it that way. I do not know whether I am permitted to say that that was the end of my religious pilgrimage. One thing that was certain is that I always forgot the lessons that I got from the pilgrimage. Maybe because I did it in such an early age,where the mind is still in its turmoil. Well, let's try to recollect those memories, then.
For me, God is a being that can be far away there, with all of its greatness, way up there in heaven, that mortals like me cannot see Him. However, at the same time, He's right here with us, down here on earth, just like our shadow, following us wherever we go. Well, just like our shadow, we're so used to it, that only at certain times that we are aware of His presence.
Like what I said to one of my friends in her blog, but rephrased here: the presence of God is just like the light of a little candle, a very small one. It's always there, it's always lit, it's never going to die. however, the light of the small candle are almost always covered by things with brighter light; namely, our so-called state of happiness. Well, as economics, natural selection, or other things humanely possible would have it, when quantity is plentiful, quality will prevail. Thus, what we're taking notice of is the brighter light, and never the light of the small candle. And, as you can guess, when the bright light is in short supply, when we all feel gloomy and we're just like in the dark valley of hell, the constant light is there, suddenly something so precious that it becomes really magnificent. That small light suddenly become the center of our life. Really, for some people, that encounter is nothing short of miraculous. Even though it is so simple, so blatantly obvious, and there's nothing miraculous about it. It's just that we always take it for granted, that when we lost it, we just realize what we lost.
What's next? Trying to hold our precious dearly? Won't work, I tell you. When we hold something so dearly, we also release other things that was not dearly for us at that time. Talking about human greed here. So, you ask, what should we hold dear, then? For the philosophical me, I think my answer will be, embrace the nothingness, then. When you embrace the nothingness, you'll realize the miniscule of your existance in the midst of everything. It's just like we're being reborn, having nothing, naked in front of this big big world, and we're being scared to hell because we know nothing, have nothing, in control of nothing, all silent, ignoring us. But then, what you have to realize is this thing: when you're feeling that you're nothing, it's because you've become one with everything, and what you see, feel, and perceive are the magnamity of "everything" that you become overwhelmed by it, and humanely thought, "this is nothingness."
I think the same way applies with embracing God. All the same feeling, all the same experience.....Well, don't ask me whether such things are true are not, I don't even know. Besides, it will be foolish for us to hold something, isn't it? Whether it be truth, mask, good, evil, or other things that can be used to classify things into categories. Really, we're trying to be something, when we're actually nothing. It's impossible, but this impossibility would never make us desperate, lose all hope, or depressing things like that. Just learn about your place and your existance, and live with it. Enjoy your life.
Oyasumi.
You don't need no friends
get back your faith again
you have the power to believe
another dissident
take back your evidence
it has no power to deceive
I'll believe it when I see it, for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive
I sit with them all night
everything they say is right
but in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
come hell or water high
down any road you choose to roam
I'll believe it when I see it for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah
darling, I believe, Oh Lord
sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord
at the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah
I'll believe it when I see it for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I don't need no one
Ohhhh
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
To tell me about heaven
I believe
I believe it, yeah
A really nice song. I like this one. It reflects my simple religious standpoint, if you want to call it that way. I do not know whether I am permitted to say that that was the end of my religious pilgrimage. One thing that was certain is that I always forgot the lessons that I got from the pilgrimage. Maybe because I did it in such an early age,where the mind is still in its turmoil. Well, let's try to recollect those memories, then.
For me, God is a being that can be far away there, with all of its greatness, way up there in heaven, that mortals like me cannot see Him. However, at the same time, He's right here with us, down here on earth, just like our shadow, following us wherever we go. Well, just like our shadow, we're so used to it, that only at certain times that we are aware of His presence.
Like what I said to one of my friends in her blog, but rephrased here: the presence of God is just like the light of a little candle, a very small one. It's always there, it's always lit, it's never going to die. however, the light of the small candle are almost always covered by things with brighter light; namely, our so-called state of happiness. Well, as economics, natural selection, or other things humanely possible would have it, when quantity is plentiful, quality will prevail. Thus, what we're taking notice of is the brighter light, and never the light of the small candle. And, as you can guess, when the bright light is in short supply, when we all feel gloomy and we're just like in the dark valley of hell, the constant light is there, suddenly something so precious that it becomes really magnificent. That small light suddenly become the center of our life. Really, for some people, that encounter is nothing short of miraculous. Even though it is so simple, so blatantly obvious, and there's nothing miraculous about it. It's just that we always take it for granted, that when we lost it, we just realize what we lost.
What's next? Trying to hold our precious dearly? Won't work, I tell you. When we hold something so dearly, we also release other things that was not dearly for us at that time. Talking about human greed here. So, you ask, what should we hold dear, then? For the philosophical me, I think my answer will be, embrace the nothingness, then. When you embrace the nothingness, you'll realize the miniscule of your existance in the midst of everything. It's just like we're being reborn, having nothing, naked in front of this big big world, and we're being scared to hell because we know nothing, have nothing, in control of nothing, all silent, ignoring us. But then, what you have to realize is this thing: when you're feeling that you're nothing, it's because you've become one with everything, and what you see, feel, and perceive are the magnamity of "everything" that you become overwhelmed by it, and humanely thought, "this is nothingness."
I think the same way applies with embracing God. All the same feeling, all the same experience.....Well, don't ask me whether such things are true are not, I don't even know. Besides, it will be foolish for us to hold something, isn't it? Whether it be truth, mask, good, evil, or other things that can be used to classify things into categories. Really, we're trying to be something, when we're actually nothing. It's impossible, but this impossibility would never make us desperate, lose all hope, or depressing things like that. Just learn about your place and your existance, and live with it. Enjoy your life.
Oyasumi.
Friday, March 18, 2005
A little thought in a little world.....
Sebuah pikiran kecil di tengah dunia yang mungil.....
Di dunia yang kecil ini, terkadang kita berpikir, apakah makna orang lain bagi kita? Apakah makna dari seorang teman, sahabat, kekasih, orang tua, adik, kakak, dan posisi-posisi sosial lainnya yang ditentukan berdasarkan hubungan antar sesama manusia? Ada berbagai pendekatan yang bisa dipakai untuk menyikapi hubungan-hubungan seperti ini. Ada yang menanggapi bahwa hubungan antar sesama manusia itu pada dasarnya adalah suatu hubungan yang "diusahakan" untuk saling menguntungkan satu sama lain. Dengan kata lain, jika ada satu atau lebih pihak yang dirugikan, kemungkinan besar hubungan itu akan retak, atau lebih parahnya lagi, hancur. Sehingga, timbul pertanyaan: serapuh itukah hubungan antar sesama manusia?
Jika ditelaah lebih lanjut, jelas sekali jawabannya bahwa manusia, dan hubungan antar sesama manusia, tidak serapuh itu. Bahkan, bisa dikatakan bahwa relasi antar individu itu jauh sekali adanya dari definisi "rapuh". Hubungan antar sesama manusia tidak selalu berdasarkan atas prinsip untung rugi. Seringkali, justru prinsip untung rugi ini seringkali dilanggar oleh para manusia yang bersikukuh bahwa prinsip untung rugi tersebut adalah satu-satunya prinsip dasar manusia, terutama manusia di dunia modern ini. Banyak sekali orang-orang yang dengan sukarela dan bersenang hati mengambil posisi "rugi" dalam hubungan tersebut. Yang menarik, dan sedikit ironis, adalah kesukarelaan orang-orang tersebut sering sekali diragukan oleh para manusia, yang sifat pesimistis dan tidak mudah percayanya sudah melegenda.
Para manusia itu ibarat investor, selalu berusaha hati-hati untuk tidak rugi, dan keuntungan adalah hasil yang wajib diperoleh. Ketika dia mengalami kerugian, dia tidak akan rela untuk jatuh ke lubang yang sama untuk kedua kalinya, karena dia jelas tidak mau dicap sebagai keledai. Dengan orientasi arah yang benar-benar terbatas, manusia hanya bisa melihat dirinya sendiri (itu saja tidak dengan jelas) dan satu loncatan batu setapak yang sudah ada di depannya. Yang mereka tahu hanyalah, ini adalah jalan yang harus saya lalui. Ada beberapa manusia yang merasa bangga, karena mereka bisa melihat sedikit lebih jauh, dan menjadi tahu bahwa mereka tengah berjalan di sebuah jalur yang banyak dilewati orang. Karena manusia juga mempunyai sifat tidak mau kalah dari manusia yang lainnya, dan selalu ingin merasakan bahwa dirinya berbeda dari orang lain (supaya dia bisa benar-benar yakin akan identitas dan eksistensi dirinya), mereka pun mengambil jalan setapak lain yang jarang dilalui. Akan tetapi, apakah mereka tahu, kemanakah jalan setapak yang jarang dilalui itu akan membawa mereka? "Banyak jalan menuju Roma," ucap banyak orang. Yang berarti, masih ada kemungkinan bahwa jalan yang jarang dilalui tersebut ternyata mempunyai tujuan yang sama dengan jalan yang biasa dilalui manusia lainnya. Jika dipikirkan kembali, bukankah ini sesuatu yang cukup absurd, dan menimbulkan senyum geli? Jika hal tersebut tidak menimbulkan senyum geli di wajah anda, saya tidak tahu lagi bagaimana cara membuat anda tertawa.
Singapura, Maret 2005.
Di dunia yang kecil ini, terkadang kita berpikir, apakah makna orang lain bagi kita? Apakah makna dari seorang teman, sahabat, kekasih, orang tua, adik, kakak, dan posisi-posisi sosial lainnya yang ditentukan berdasarkan hubungan antar sesama manusia? Ada berbagai pendekatan yang bisa dipakai untuk menyikapi hubungan-hubungan seperti ini. Ada yang menanggapi bahwa hubungan antar sesama manusia itu pada dasarnya adalah suatu hubungan yang "diusahakan" untuk saling menguntungkan satu sama lain. Dengan kata lain, jika ada satu atau lebih pihak yang dirugikan, kemungkinan besar hubungan itu akan retak, atau lebih parahnya lagi, hancur. Sehingga, timbul pertanyaan: serapuh itukah hubungan antar sesama manusia?
Jika ditelaah lebih lanjut, jelas sekali jawabannya bahwa manusia, dan hubungan antar sesama manusia, tidak serapuh itu. Bahkan, bisa dikatakan bahwa relasi antar individu itu jauh sekali adanya dari definisi "rapuh". Hubungan antar sesama manusia tidak selalu berdasarkan atas prinsip untung rugi. Seringkali, justru prinsip untung rugi ini seringkali dilanggar oleh para manusia yang bersikukuh bahwa prinsip untung rugi tersebut adalah satu-satunya prinsip dasar manusia, terutama manusia di dunia modern ini. Banyak sekali orang-orang yang dengan sukarela dan bersenang hati mengambil posisi "rugi" dalam hubungan tersebut. Yang menarik, dan sedikit ironis, adalah kesukarelaan orang-orang tersebut sering sekali diragukan oleh para manusia, yang sifat pesimistis dan tidak mudah percayanya sudah melegenda.
Para manusia itu ibarat investor, selalu berusaha hati-hati untuk tidak rugi, dan keuntungan adalah hasil yang wajib diperoleh. Ketika dia mengalami kerugian, dia tidak akan rela untuk jatuh ke lubang yang sama untuk kedua kalinya, karena dia jelas tidak mau dicap sebagai keledai. Dengan orientasi arah yang benar-benar terbatas, manusia hanya bisa melihat dirinya sendiri (itu saja tidak dengan jelas) dan satu loncatan batu setapak yang sudah ada di depannya. Yang mereka tahu hanyalah, ini adalah jalan yang harus saya lalui. Ada beberapa manusia yang merasa bangga, karena mereka bisa melihat sedikit lebih jauh, dan menjadi tahu bahwa mereka tengah berjalan di sebuah jalur yang banyak dilewati orang. Karena manusia juga mempunyai sifat tidak mau kalah dari manusia yang lainnya, dan selalu ingin merasakan bahwa dirinya berbeda dari orang lain (supaya dia bisa benar-benar yakin akan identitas dan eksistensi dirinya), mereka pun mengambil jalan setapak lain yang jarang dilalui. Akan tetapi, apakah mereka tahu, kemanakah jalan setapak yang jarang dilalui itu akan membawa mereka? "Banyak jalan menuju Roma," ucap banyak orang. Yang berarti, masih ada kemungkinan bahwa jalan yang jarang dilalui tersebut ternyata mempunyai tujuan yang sama dengan jalan yang biasa dilalui manusia lainnya. Jika dipikirkan kembali, bukankah ini sesuatu yang cukup absurd, dan menimbulkan senyum geli? Jika hal tersebut tidak menimbulkan senyum geli di wajah anda, saya tidak tahu lagi bagaimana cara membuat anda tertawa.
Singapura, Maret 2005.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Homo homini lupus
Be Human
A journey into thousands of minds
None are alike, yet all are similar
Searching for a valuable lesson
Amidst the cluttering of informations
A lesson about "humanity"
What does it mean to be "human"?
Is it to think like "human" do?
Is it to feel like "human" do?
Is it to act "humanly"?
The drifts of countless minutes and seconds
In pursue of perfection and total freedom,
Abandoning the fundamental design of "human"
Imperfections and limitations
When the initial design has been far surpassed
A design called "human", which comes together with "humanity"
Are "humans" still "humans"?
What will be the fate of "humanity"?
For truly, what does it mean to be "human"?
What is "humanity" for "human"?
Are we "human"?
Do we have "humanity"?
Dedicated to the Ghost in the Shell Anime, and all of its soundtrack. Title of the poem was taken from one of the Ghost in the Shell album's title, "Be Human."
A journey into thousands of minds
None are alike, yet all are similar
Searching for a valuable lesson
Amidst the cluttering of informations
A lesson about "humanity"
What does it mean to be "human"?
Is it to think like "human" do?
Is it to feel like "human" do?
Is it to act "humanly"?
The drifts of countless minutes and seconds
In pursue of perfection and total freedom,
Abandoning the fundamental design of "human"
Imperfections and limitations
When the initial design has been far surpassed
A design called "human", which comes together with "humanity"
Are "humans" still "humans"?
What will be the fate of "humanity"?
For truly, what does it mean to be "human"?
What is "humanity" for "human"?
Are we "human"?
Do we have "humanity"?
Dedicated to the Ghost in the Shell Anime, and all of its soundtrack. Title of the poem was taken from one of the Ghost in the Shell album's title, "Be Human."
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Even Forever Comes to An End......
Movements of Time
When eternity comes to an end,
Is that the end of time?
When the brittle substance of time,
Frozen in its being,
Starts to collapse,
Will it thaws into a flowing current?
Or will it be shattered as frozen pieces?
The tramps of beings
Taken for granted,
Betrayed from its majestic traits.
As dethroned as it is,
It reigns without a crown.
Who will deny such grandeur?
The time when forever comes to an end
Is not when time comes to an end
It is going to be the time
When it is not the time anymore.
The title of this entry was taken from quote from Chrono Trigger, my personal favourite RPG game. I had this game on 1995, when it came out on SNES. It's a classsic game, and it has a neverending feeling to it. Well, this one poem is dedicated to the game Chrono Trigger itself, and to Time as well.
When eternity comes to an end,
Is that the end of time?
When the brittle substance of time,
Frozen in its being,
Starts to collapse,
Will it thaws into a flowing current?
Or will it be shattered as frozen pieces?
The tramps of beings
Taken for granted,
Betrayed from its majestic traits.
As dethroned as it is,
It reigns without a crown.
Who will deny such grandeur?
The time when forever comes to an end
Is not when time comes to an end
It is going to be the time
When it is not the time anymore.
The title of this entry was taken from quote from Chrono Trigger, my personal favourite RPG game. I had this game on 1995, when it came out on SNES. It's a classsic game, and it has a neverending feeling to it. Well, this one poem is dedicated to the game Chrono Trigger itself, and to Time as well.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Anger Management
Anger Management
When the poison of anger
Resides in the heart,
What antidote is powerful enough
To cure the disease within?
To keep the poison alone
Will break other's hearts
To vent the anger outside
will breed more seeds of hatred
To release it as tears of sadness
Will extinguish someone's light of happines
What should be done?
How will one able to purify the heart,
so scourged it is,
by the poison of hatred?
Release Thy from Thy agony, dear one...
And Thy shall fly to paradise with Thou
Another one of my poetry, and by the time I write this entry, some surprising people had read my blog, those that I never suspect. Hehehehe.....oh well, just to let you know that any people can freely left their comments here on my blog, so if you want to say something, just left a comment there, ok?
Now, about this piece.....I wrote this one when I was quite angry, I forgot why, and as always, I was fond of putting what I thought and feel at that time to some writing, as I used to be (not now, though). I made some modifications here, compared with the original one, because I felt that some grammars and vocabs is mismatched. Well, just to remind everyone here who read my poetry, that all of my poetry can be said as pieces of my "frozen" memory that I turn into something, so that I might be reminded of it. Well, currently, there's nothing worthy of remembering, so I don't write again, but when I got something, I'll try to write it and share some (not all, of course!) of it to you guys. ahahahaha....now....Gutten Nacht! Oyasumi Nasai!
When the poison of anger
Resides in the heart,
What antidote is powerful enough
To cure the disease within?
To keep the poison alone
Will break other's hearts
To vent the anger outside
will breed more seeds of hatred
To release it as tears of sadness
Will extinguish someone's light of happines
What should be done?
How will one able to purify the heart,
so scourged it is,
by the poison of hatred?
Release Thy from Thy agony, dear one...
And Thy shall fly to paradise with Thou
Another one of my poetry, and by the time I write this entry, some surprising people had read my blog, those that I never suspect. Hehehehe.....oh well, just to let you know that any people can freely left their comments here on my blog, so if you want to say something, just left a comment there, ok?
Now, about this piece.....I wrote this one when I was quite angry, I forgot why, and as always, I was fond of putting what I thought and feel at that time to some writing, as I used to be (not now, though). I made some modifications here, compared with the original one, because I felt that some grammars and vocabs is mismatched. Well, just to remind everyone here who read my poetry, that all of my poetry can be said as pieces of my "frozen" memory that I turn into something, so that I might be reminded of it. Well, currently, there's nothing worthy of remembering, so I don't write again, but when I got something, I'll try to write it and share some (not all, of course!) of it to you guys. ahahahaha....now....Gutten Nacht! Oyasumi Nasai!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Valentine day, and still alone as usual....
Someone Out There
Sitting alone under the full moon, waiting
Will you come?
The night is too perfect to be spent
only with the company of a fine bottle of wine
My mind starts to wander...
A faint trace of your perfume lingers in the air.
And I sighed.
Although I don't know who you are,your presence there is more than enough to keep me accompanied.
Even though you are merely an image that comes from the most perfect of dreams, I will not stop hoping and praying, until your very presence here, is something that I can hold dearly.
Dedicated for the one out there.....
Hahahahaha.....another one of my old poem.......guess that this one comes from the imagination of a lonely man who had too much free time in his hand, and nothing to think about. So.....for all those jomblos out there......let's enjoy our lonely valentine, and just hope that next time will be better.
Sitting alone under the full moon, waiting
Will you come?
The night is too perfect to be spent
only with the company of a fine bottle of wine
My mind starts to wander...
A faint trace of your perfume lingers in the air.
And I sighed.
Although I don't know who you are,your presence there is more than enough to keep me accompanied.
Even though you are merely an image that comes from the most perfect of dreams, I will not stop hoping and praying, until your very presence here, is something that I can hold dearly.
Dedicated for the one out there.....
Hahahahaha.....another one of my old poem.......guess that this one comes from the imagination of a lonely man who had too much free time in his hand, and nothing to think about. So.....for all those jomblos out there......let's enjoy our lonely valentine, and just hope that next time will be better.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Wandering Traveller, Indonesian Version
Wandering Traveller
I live by the rules of the wind
To breath the air
is to fell my presence
The Sky is my roof,
And the earth is my walking path.
The First crystal of the snow
Will bring me home
To the warmth of the neverending sun
Whenever the symphony of solitude is played,
I will be there.
I am not going to fade away
Not until the tunes of requiem
And the Crying Sky
Accompany me in the journey
A journey of pilgrimage
As a wandering soul.
OK......sorry for the sluggy update, been reading too much manga lately.....and suspending some essays and stuff.....gonna work it tomorrow, I swear!!! >XD
And here it is, the original wandering traveller that I made for one friend that I never met, and probably will never be. We met each other through some prank sms that she sent to my phone accidentally (she was bored at that time, and she sms me at 7 o'clock in a sunday morning), and the rest is history. Quite a friendship, we contacted each other through sms, two lonely souls that need some warmth, but both were unsure about what would happen next. This happened during the period of February/March 2003, until my departure to Singapore, July 2003. I wrote this piece of poetry the night before my departure to Singapore. BTW, we contacted with each other only during the night, because only at night that I was "secure" in my room. Ever since I was in Singapore, I never contacted her anymore. Well, I contacted her via sms again during my first time going back to Indonesia after my first sem, and during that time, I asked for this piece to be sent to me, coz I lost the original one. I never held my hope high, but guess what? She still collected all of my poetry that I sent to her. The period of March 2003 until July 2003 was the period when I was actively writing poetry, something that I think can never be achieved again. And most of the time, she was the first person I sent my poetry to. We share so much, even though we never met each other. I was talking about my highschool crush to her, and she was talking about her ex-boyfriend problems. Both of us are desperate with our love life, and I knew, at that time, that time will change our relationship. And it happened. She confessed to me. I was prepared for the confession, yet, I was unprepared for what to do. I asked her to be friends only, because we had quite a different background (in religion, but not in hometown, since her university is in my father's hometown). And her friends (yes, some of them followed her pranks =.=) told me that whenever she received my sms, she's so happy that they saw her as being "lovestruck", and encourage me to "upgrade" my relationship with her. But then, at that time, I can say that my emotional condition is in one of its most unstable condition. And I cannot think clearly about what will happen next. The funny thing is, after that "memorable event", we still continue our conversation, like nothing had happened between us. I enjoyed my friendship with her very much.
When I come back to Indonesia @July 2004, we found ourselves changed. We are not our old self, and it makes me scared to restart our long lost contact. And thus, I broke our usual sms contact. Singapore has changed me so much, that I barely recognized my old self anymore. Well, being older than me by roughly one year, she stayed the same, but yet, my feelings are changed. I'm no longer my old self, and I'm a total mess at that time (well, it's not like the mess has been fully repaired till now). I broke our contact, and I feel nothing.
Yet, when I open my poetry folder, and read my poetry that I has stored there, I encounter my old feelings, and so on. This poetry reminds me about one of my most precious treasure that I have thrown away like it was nothing, and now, just like everyone, I was terribly sorry for what I did, yet I couldn't change it. I bet she will still feel happy if I contact her right here, right now, yet, I feel that I have wronged her greatly, and I cannot face her anymore. Yes, I am a coward sometimes, and I admit that it was one of my lesser point.
And for one Widi Nugraheni, thanks for being a center for my life at the time when I need something to hold on to. I really enjoy our late night conversation (within my old room and my old handphone, how I miss those two), and one thing that I can tell you: this is one of my strongest poetry that I ever made (the other being the "Wandering Traveller, Singapore Version"), and this is the first, and probably the last, piece of poetry that I have written with so much of my feeling for someone else than myself. I'm terribly sorry for my attitude to you, and now, with my emotionless heart, I bid my farewell to you, forever. Goodbye, and Goodnight, Widi.
I live by the rules of the wind
To breath the air
is to fell my presence
The Sky is my roof,
And the earth is my walking path.
The First crystal of the snow
Will bring me home
To the warmth of the neverending sun
Whenever the symphony of solitude is played,
I will be there.
I am not going to fade away
Not until the tunes of requiem
And the Crying Sky
Accompany me in the journey
A journey of pilgrimage
As a wandering soul.
OK......sorry for the sluggy update, been reading too much manga lately.....and suspending some essays and stuff.....gonna work it tomorrow, I swear!!! >XD
And here it is, the original wandering traveller that I made for one friend that I never met, and probably will never be. We met each other through some prank sms that she sent to my phone accidentally (she was bored at that time, and she sms me at 7 o'clock in a sunday morning), and the rest is history. Quite a friendship, we contacted each other through sms, two lonely souls that need some warmth, but both were unsure about what would happen next. This happened during the period of February/March 2003, until my departure to Singapore, July 2003. I wrote this piece of poetry the night before my departure to Singapore. BTW, we contacted with each other only during the night, because only at night that I was "secure" in my room. Ever since I was in Singapore, I never contacted her anymore. Well, I contacted her via sms again during my first time going back to Indonesia after my first sem, and during that time, I asked for this piece to be sent to me, coz I lost the original one. I never held my hope high, but guess what? She still collected all of my poetry that I sent to her. The period of March 2003 until July 2003 was the period when I was actively writing poetry, something that I think can never be achieved again. And most of the time, she was the first person I sent my poetry to. We share so much, even though we never met each other. I was talking about my highschool crush to her, and she was talking about her ex-boyfriend problems. Both of us are desperate with our love life, and I knew, at that time, that time will change our relationship. And it happened. She confessed to me. I was prepared for the confession, yet, I was unprepared for what to do. I asked her to be friends only, because we had quite a different background (in religion, but not in hometown, since her university is in my father's hometown). And her friends (yes, some of them followed her pranks =.=) told me that whenever she received my sms, she's so happy that they saw her as being "lovestruck", and encourage me to "upgrade" my relationship with her. But then, at that time, I can say that my emotional condition is in one of its most unstable condition. And I cannot think clearly about what will happen next. The funny thing is, after that "memorable event", we still continue our conversation, like nothing had happened between us. I enjoyed my friendship with her very much.
When I come back to Indonesia @July 2004, we found ourselves changed. We are not our old self, and it makes me scared to restart our long lost contact. And thus, I broke our usual sms contact. Singapore has changed me so much, that I barely recognized my old self anymore. Well, being older than me by roughly one year, she stayed the same, but yet, my feelings are changed. I'm no longer my old self, and I'm a total mess at that time (well, it's not like the mess has been fully repaired till now). I broke our contact, and I feel nothing.
Yet, when I open my poetry folder, and read my poetry that I has stored there, I encounter my old feelings, and so on. This poetry reminds me about one of my most precious treasure that I have thrown away like it was nothing, and now, just like everyone, I was terribly sorry for what I did, yet I couldn't change it. I bet she will still feel happy if I contact her right here, right now, yet, I feel that I have wronged her greatly, and I cannot face her anymore. Yes, I am a coward sometimes, and I admit that it was one of my lesser point.
And for one Widi Nugraheni, thanks for being a center for my life at the time when I need something to hold on to. I really enjoy our late night conversation (within my old room and my old handphone, how I miss those two), and one thing that I can tell you: this is one of my strongest poetry that I ever made (the other being the "Wandering Traveller, Singapore Version"), and this is the first, and probably the last, piece of poetry that I have written with so much of my feeling for someone else than myself. I'm terribly sorry for my attitude to you, and now, with my emotionless heart, I bid my farewell to you, forever. Goodbye, and Goodnight, Widi.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Wandering Travellers, Singapore version
Wandering Travellers
I live by the rules of the winds
I will go wherever I will go
As long as my feet threads the Earth
And my gaze is fixed upon the Sky
I will never lost
In this world of virtue
If there is someone waiting for me
I will tell my story
Through the songs of the birds
And the symphony of the fallen leaves
And if I ever come home
It will be the day
Of the first snow
The day of the warmth
In the middle of the family.
hahahahaha....this one is actually the singaporean version of a piece I made in Indo, but I forgot about the wordings when I came to singapore. but thx to one of my friend (well, the one I give the original piece to), I was able to recover the Indonesian one. Thus, the two versions of Wandering Travellers.
This poetry was made because of my anxiety when I was going to singapore for my study. you can say that before going to singapore, I never go to foreign country, except, singapore, and that's only twice in my whole life before my uni life. :p
I live by the rules of the winds
I will go wherever I will go
As long as my feet threads the Earth
And my gaze is fixed upon the Sky
I will never lost
In this world of virtue
If there is someone waiting for me
I will tell my story
Through the songs of the birds
And the symphony of the fallen leaves
And if I ever come home
It will be the day
Of the first snow
The day of the warmth
In the middle of the family.
hahahahaha....this one is actually the singaporean version of a piece I made in Indo, but I forgot about the wordings when I came to singapore. but thx to one of my friend (well, the one I give the original piece to), I was able to recover the Indonesian one. Thus, the two versions of Wandering Travellers.
This poetry was made because of my anxiety when I was going to singapore for my study. you can say that before going to singapore, I never go to foreign country, except, singapore, and that's only twice in my whole life before my uni life. :p
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Singing in the rain.....
Rains and Clouds
Walking beneath the rains
Trying to find the light
Through the cloudy mind of mine
Making sense of nonsense
Calming the chaos
That rages and aches
Salvos of questions
Bombarding the head
Which content's no longer there
Trying to be strong
Dragging the feet
To the final destination
With the final breath
All things undone
Will be concluded
In the end of the path
Rest awaits the body
Sleep into eternal peace
Ok.....I think I will post all of my poetry that rest within my poetry folder, and make it as a poetry rally until there's no more poetry left sitting in my folder. I started this one from 2 days ago, so.......enjoy.
Walking beneath the rains
Trying to find the light
Through the cloudy mind of mine
Making sense of nonsense
Calming the chaos
That rages and aches
Salvos of questions
Bombarding the head
Which content's no longer there
Trying to be strong
Dragging the feet
To the final destination
With the final breath
All things undone
Will be concluded
In the end of the path
Rest awaits the body
Sleep into eternal peace
Ok.....I think I will post all of my poetry that rest within my poetry folder, and make it as a poetry rally until there's no more poetry left sitting in my folder. I started this one from 2 days ago, so.......enjoy.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Marriage Poetry
The Journey to the Road
It is the day
We promise each other
To stand together
And walk our path together
It is from that day
We join our hearts and souls
Embracing each other
In moments of tears and laughters
Filling the special place
That was destined in each other's soul
Adding the missing pieces
That was eternally sought after
It is not going to be a smooth road
It is not going to be like a dream
It is not going to be that simple
It is not going to be that easy
But then, we have each other
We have each other to lend our shoulders
We have each other to lend our ears
We have each other to lend our hands
We have everything to share
Because from that day,
We are one.
Ok2, this is what I write when the certain someone that I mention earlier ask me to write a piece of poetry for one of her relatives' wedding celebration. It is sad that this piece was forgotten by both of us, and thus, is not delivered to the one it should be intended to. However, some people said that this one is real nice. LOL, I have the talent to be a charmer, yet, I enjoy being a common man.
It is the day
We promise each other
To stand together
And walk our path together
It is from that day
We join our hearts and souls
Embracing each other
In moments of tears and laughters
Filling the special place
That was destined in each other's soul
Adding the missing pieces
That was eternally sought after
It is not going to be a smooth road
It is not going to be like a dream
It is not going to be that simple
It is not going to be that easy
But then, we have each other
We have each other to lend our shoulders
We have each other to lend our ears
We have each other to lend our hands
We have everything to share
Because from that day,
We are one.
Ok2, this is what I write when the certain someone that I mention earlier ask me to write a piece of poetry for one of her relatives' wedding celebration. It is sad that this piece was forgotten by both of us, and thus, is not delivered to the one it should be intended to. However, some people said that this one is real nice. LOL, I have the talent to be a charmer, yet, I enjoy being a common man.
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