Hope and Dreams
Trying to fly to the moon
When the feet are planted
to the ground
Halfway to the eternity of thoughts
When the body lives
in the world of virtue
Standing against
the rising tides of destiny
with mere strength of will
Humans
Small in their nature
Raised as the giants
Of the world
So grandeur,
yet so frail
Hardly soar from the ground
Only to fall
To the deepest abyss
There is no wings to fly with
Only dreams and hopes
to send them to fly away
Dreams are the wings
Hopes are the winds
One of the poetry that I made during my first sem in NUS. I have stopped writing ever since sem 2 begins. It's sem 4, and there's a doubt in my heart, whether I should start writing poetry again. After all, I have lost my "artistic heart", with which I spoke my minds, thougts, and heart with. Maybe I'll start writing again, when I'm in the mood of writing poetry, and not when I was obliged to write one.
On a related note, I think I can start posting some of my poetry here......Some that were never seen before, but by myself and one other person......
Monday, January 31, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
Heat, Fan, and Comfort
As I lazing off
In the comfortable heat wave
The whirling of the fan
Accompany me as a background sound
Some jazzy tunes in both ears
And a good book to read about
What is unfavourable by many people
Were made heaven by self
A picture comes into mind
The image of elders, lazing off
In the same heat wave, but somewhere else
No doubt, enjoying the same weather
While one contemplates what has passed,
The other contemplates about what has to come
Just like the soothing wind of the summer
Away she comes, away she goes.
In the comfortable heat wave
The whirling of the fan
Accompany me as a background sound
Some jazzy tunes in both ears
And a good book to read about
What is unfavourable by many people
Were made heaven by self
A picture comes into mind
The image of elders, lazing off
In the same heat wave, but somewhere else
No doubt, enjoying the same weather
While one contemplates what has passed,
The other contemplates about what has to come
Just like the soothing wind of the summer
Away she comes, away she goes.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Usual moody thoughts accompanied by jazzy tunes
Beauty is Within Us
Vocal: Scott Matthew
Words: Chris Mosdell
Music: Yoko Kanno
O mother dear
Look what you've done
To your forlorn and once beloved son
Why was I born at all?
O mother dear
I'm such a freak
A mutant man, a woman underneath
Why was I born at all?
It's you I blame for all the shame
This anguish and this aching
The mirror turned against the wall
Myself despised, forsaken
*You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"There's a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark and ugly
O mother dear
I curse you so
For breathing life into your wretched son
Why were you born at all?
O mother dear
I love you so
O please forgive this anger in my soul
Without you I'm alone
It's me who's been eternally damned
Trapped inside this cage, a ruined man
All damaged and depraved
O mother dear
This misery
Has settled like a stain upon my skin
-a vast unspoken sin
And my mistake is much too late
But your mistake was trusting
That out of grief, a goodness comes
And love comes out of lusting
*repeat
You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"There's a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark I can not see you anymore
"O beauty is within us, mother knows"
"O beauty is within us, like a rose"
"O beauty is within us, let it grow"
O mother dear, let me out of here!
quite a nice song, when you're being depressed....although the lyrics can be explosive and provoking for some, I quite like this song......the song mirrors the anguish, desperation, and longing that one usually experienced when one wants someone to pull themselves from a hellhole, because they have tried for so hard, that they have no energy left to climb the hole. It reminds us about the fragility of human soul, how it can break easier than how a glass will shatter....
Just finished reading Da Vinci Code. Quite interested on reading that book, since it's been mentioned by almost all people as being anti-christ. When it was mentioned by my visiting mother, my interest starts to spark along. It is quite rare that my mother said that I was not allowed to read one books, because I was deemed not mature enough to accept the concept that might be accentuated from the book.
She would be surprised.
In my journey of manga reading, it is not unusual for me to read one or more pieces of manga which is way more anti-christianity, and more shocking than those of Da Vinci Codes. It seems that for some people, christianity is something that was "imperfect", that is, full of deceit and other bad things unthinkable for the christianity. In the mangas, human is always the victor over gods and devils. Quite cocky for human, as ever. Human pride will be something that make them falls. What is interesting about the manga is that they depict gods and devils as humanly at heart as possible, discounting the deity characteristic of those gods and devils. There are usual moments of confusion, as the writer of the story will have it, upon differentiating between the good and the bad, the white and the black. Sometimes you just can't help but questioning yourself, what is good, and what is bad?
Good and bad, white and black. Truth and deceit, purity and desecration. Which one is which? Each one of them, if viewed in subjective manner, will be very biased (i.e. being subjective). But what if they can be viewed in objective manner? What will the view will be? Now, after some consideration, I decided that we, humans, will never be able to comment upon things in an objective manner. When humans try to be objective, they found themselves limited by theirselves, they can only simulate what they think others might think. Why is that so? Each human is unique in their own way, that is, there is no single condition that will be the same for each human to grow with, not to mention their basic personality to start with. Just like in a microbiology laboratorium, if the culture is conditioned differently, the microbes will also grow differently, the same goes to human.
So, as I might confuse any reader of this blog, what is the relation between the song, the book I read upon, the manga, and the sociology analysis (I presume I had done so for the paragraph above, pardon me, for I don't have any sociology lesson ever)? Upon search for truth, which every human is compelled to do at one point of their life or another, they have one emotional condition that appears in their heart: a despair that their so-called truth that they are searching and longing for, are quite withing their grasp, but the truth refuse to be seached and longed for. Humans will exhaust all means to grasp the truth for themselves (particular egocentricity of human, one may add), that they are confused. The despair, as one can see within the lyrics of the song, is quite a heavy burden. At that time, white is not white anymore, and black is not black anymore. Both are twisted into a new colour: grey. People often said that the world is not black, and it is not white either, but it is grey. Upon consideration, others might think that grey is not the sole truth, for there is no sole truth, as was depicted earlier with the black and white metaphor. Then, what is grey? Is it the truth grasped by most people, and claimed to be the one and only truth, or is it only the tip of the iceberg of deceit?
In conclusion of this lengthy essay (or blog, it is for the reader to decide), the writer come by one conclusion, which has been a personal quote for the writer ever since.
"There is nothing absolute, including this very own statement."
Good evening.
Vocal: Scott Matthew
Words: Chris Mosdell
Music: Yoko Kanno
O mother dear
Look what you've done
To your forlorn and once beloved son
Why was I born at all?
O mother dear
I'm such a freak
A mutant man, a woman underneath
Why was I born at all?
It's you I blame for all the shame
This anguish and this aching
The mirror turned against the wall
Myself despised, forsaken
*You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"There's a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark and ugly
O mother dear
I curse you so
For breathing life into your wretched son
Why were you born at all?
O mother dear
I love you so
O please forgive this anger in my soul
Without you I'm alone
It's me who's been eternally damned
Trapped inside this cage, a ruined man
All damaged and depraved
O mother dear
This misery
Has settled like a stain upon my skin
-a vast unspoken sin
And my mistake is much too late
But your mistake was trusting
That out of grief, a goodness comes
And love comes out of lusting
*repeat
You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"There's a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark I can not see you anymore
"O beauty is within us, mother knows"
"O beauty is within us, like a rose"
"O beauty is within us, let it grow"
O mother dear, let me out of here!
quite a nice song, when you're being depressed....although the lyrics can be explosive and provoking for some, I quite like this song......the song mirrors the anguish, desperation, and longing that one usually experienced when one wants someone to pull themselves from a hellhole, because they have tried for so hard, that they have no energy left to climb the hole. It reminds us about the fragility of human soul, how it can break easier than how a glass will shatter....
Just finished reading Da Vinci Code. Quite interested on reading that book, since it's been mentioned by almost all people as being anti-christ. When it was mentioned by my visiting mother, my interest starts to spark along. It is quite rare that my mother said that I was not allowed to read one books, because I was deemed not mature enough to accept the concept that might be accentuated from the book.
She would be surprised.
In my journey of manga reading, it is not unusual for me to read one or more pieces of manga which is way more anti-christianity, and more shocking than those of Da Vinci Codes. It seems that for some people, christianity is something that was "imperfect", that is, full of deceit and other bad things unthinkable for the christianity. In the mangas, human is always the victor over gods and devils. Quite cocky for human, as ever. Human pride will be something that make them falls. What is interesting about the manga is that they depict gods and devils as humanly at heart as possible, discounting the deity characteristic of those gods and devils. There are usual moments of confusion, as the writer of the story will have it, upon differentiating between the good and the bad, the white and the black. Sometimes you just can't help but questioning yourself, what is good, and what is bad?
Good and bad, white and black. Truth and deceit, purity and desecration. Which one is which? Each one of them, if viewed in subjective manner, will be very biased (i.e. being subjective). But what if they can be viewed in objective manner? What will the view will be? Now, after some consideration, I decided that we, humans, will never be able to comment upon things in an objective manner. When humans try to be objective, they found themselves limited by theirselves, they can only simulate what they think others might think. Why is that so? Each human is unique in their own way, that is, there is no single condition that will be the same for each human to grow with, not to mention their basic personality to start with. Just like in a microbiology laboratorium, if the culture is conditioned differently, the microbes will also grow differently, the same goes to human.
So, as I might confuse any reader of this blog, what is the relation between the song, the book I read upon, the manga, and the sociology analysis (I presume I had done so for the paragraph above, pardon me, for I don't have any sociology lesson ever)? Upon search for truth, which every human is compelled to do at one point of their life or another, they have one emotional condition that appears in their heart: a despair that their so-called truth that they are searching and longing for, are quite withing their grasp, but the truth refuse to be seached and longed for. Humans will exhaust all means to grasp the truth for themselves (particular egocentricity of human, one may add), that they are confused. The despair, as one can see within the lyrics of the song, is quite a heavy burden. At that time, white is not white anymore, and black is not black anymore. Both are twisted into a new colour: grey. People often said that the world is not black, and it is not white either, but it is grey. Upon consideration, others might think that grey is not the sole truth, for there is no sole truth, as was depicted earlier with the black and white metaphor. Then, what is grey? Is it the truth grasped by most people, and claimed to be the one and only truth, or is it only the tip of the iceberg of deceit?
In conclusion of this lengthy essay (or blog, it is for the reader to decide), the writer come by one conclusion, which has been a personal quote for the writer ever since.
"There is nothing absolute, including this very own statement."
Good evening.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Quite an eventful christmas and new year....
Whew.....suddenly I have an obligation to write on my blog. Ok, Christmas is over, and I'm quite stuffed with some new things in my room, notably my new mp3 player and my new digicam. The mp3 player was bought by my mom (indirectly) as a birthday present (over 1 month, but it's ok, coz it's the present that I want >:D). As for the digicam, I bought it with my birthday present money from 3 persons (my grandma from my father's side, and 2 of my aunts.) lolz....I never dreamt that I will have those 2 things. Yes, I have done some research a long time ago about what digicam and mp3 player I will buy if I can buy it, but it's not that serious. You can say that in fact, I'm not all that enthusiastic. But well, a digicam is still a digicam, an mp3 player is still an mp3 player, and happiness is still happiness.
Ah, one more thing that made my X-mas is even more beautiful compared with last year's extremely crappy X-mas. My CAP (GPA for some person) increased from 1.97 to 2.21. This means that I'm no longer in danger of being dropped out from the university. Well, actually, the grade can be better, but I'm quite thankful for C+ for one of my module and C for another one, considering that I never came to the lecture, and I only managed to learn the materials only the night before midterms and final exams. No D for this semester, which is the first one after 2 last semester. Dunno whether I can get to honours year, what with all my crappy results and so on. It seems to me that with my current direction, it is highly likely that I will never work as a researcher for life science (my major), since, quite shockingly, I find it as too limiting for my taste. My current interest is going back to things like history, psychology, etc. Maybe mathematics, if I'm not lazy enough to open back those books.
It is nice to know that slowly, I return to my old self, a personality that I have prepared long before to face adulthood, back when I'm still an ignorant adolescent that has the perception that the whole world is his, and he can do anything in this world at his own whim. I miss those times, especially at current times, since like what I have written somewhere on my short blogs, I have forgotten a lot of important things, and this is one of them. My 1.5 year in NUS has made my timid and inconfident, lazy as hell, unconcerned about myself, etc. It is not the perfect personality that I have visioned and crafted on my earlier stages of life (i.e. at secondary school and first half of high school). Just like water, I am currently on someone's glass, waiting to be drunk, and sorely misses the times when I'm still on the raging river that will goes to the calm sea.
Ah, one more thing that made my X-mas is even more beautiful compared with last year's extremely crappy X-mas. My CAP (GPA for some person) increased from 1.97 to 2.21. This means that I'm no longer in danger of being dropped out from the university. Well, actually, the grade can be better, but I'm quite thankful for C+ for one of my module and C for another one, considering that I never came to the lecture, and I only managed to learn the materials only the night before midterms and final exams. No D for this semester, which is the first one after 2 last semester. Dunno whether I can get to honours year, what with all my crappy results and so on. It seems to me that with my current direction, it is highly likely that I will never work as a researcher for life science (my major), since, quite shockingly, I find it as too limiting for my taste. My current interest is going back to things like history, psychology, etc. Maybe mathematics, if I'm not lazy enough to open back those books.
It is nice to know that slowly, I return to my old self, a personality that I have prepared long before to face adulthood, back when I'm still an ignorant adolescent that has the perception that the whole world is his, and he can do anything in this world at his own whim. I miss those times, especially at current times, since like what I have written somewhere on my short blogs, I have forgotten a lot of important things, and this is one of them. My 1.5 year in NUS has made my timid and inconfident, lazy as hell, unconcerned about myself, etc. It is not the perfect personality that I have visioned and crafted on my earlier stages of life (i.e. at secondary school and first half of high school). Just like water, I am currently on someone's glass, waiting to be drunk, and sorely misses the times when I'm still on the raging river that will goes to the calm sea.
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