Silent Words

To even think
That words are no longer adequate

This thoughts and feelings
How can it be shared?

Wishing that you are here
To enjoy our silent gathering

At least, with your presence
I won't be alone anymore.


chaosbeowulf, 1 September 2008.

La Maison ~ A nostalgic beach house that was full of love, once

A beach house somewhere on caribbean

You can faintly heard the sound of the waves

or something that sounds like waves

Nighttime, two people sit together, watching the full moon in its serenity

"I wish moments like this can stay forever."
"I hope not."
"Why?"
"So I can treasure this moments much more than something that will stay forever."
"Ah, but you will wish that it will stay forever. Somehow, I knew it."
"......You're probably right about that. Nope, you're completely right."
".....But let's treasure this moment, for you are right, too. It will end, and it will be much more treasured because it may perish someday."

Cue to present

Standing alone in the now empty house, a faint whisper can be heard:

"I wish those moments can last forever....."

Fini



Inspiration: "La Maison" by Gabin.



chaosbeowulf, 8:50 PM, 22 November 2007

Gotta hate those cloudy WEEKS.....

When the morning chill woke me up
to the gloomy gray of the day
I mourn for the sunlight
whose warmth I can not embrace



chaosbeowulf, 17 November 2007, 1:28 PM.

Remembering how to Laugh

A man with a heavy tread
With a somber expression
And a world-weary eyes
What goes on his mind?

Too bitter to smile,
Too weary to laugh.....
Is there anything left in the world
To live for?

Oh, how one forgot to laugh
When one possess the knowledge
Which strips the innocence
As useless naivete

And all of a sudden
Upon the face of a children
He might have found his answer

Full of laughter, they are
Free, unbidden, a beaming smile
Generously given to a weary stranger

As the man walks away
With a tiny smile of his own
And a rejuvenated eye
His face mirrored his thoughts

"Maybe I have to remember
How is it to laugh freely
So that I can remain humane
A little bit longer....."



chaosbeowulf, 21 August 2007

Temporal State of Being

Nothing lasts forever, that's why I don't want to lose it
Nothing lasts forever, that's why I can treasure it
Nothing lasts forever, that's why there's no use to be emotionally attached to anything
Nothing lasts forever, that's why we have to enjoy what we have
Nothing lasts forever, that's why everything is meaningful and meaningless

We are temporal beings
What should we make of ourselves?
We will fade away one day
Do our self have any meaning?
What meaning should we grant to us?

I hate the last week at being home......

Keep on walking

There was a journey
Where you know that you have to keep on moving
Forward, always forward
Never one to look back, or to linger behind

There was a journey
When you know that it's time to begin something new
And to leave behind everything in the past
Be it good times or bad times

Keep on walking
Keep on moving
Everything's only temporary
Even if they feel so sweet

Keep on walking
Keep on moving
But what is this feeling
That compels me to stay?

The day when you know
That this is it; it is time to move on
Didn't you feel that you haven't had enough?
That you want it to last a little longer?

The day when you know
That on the future, you will say more goodbyes
than you can ever imagine it to be
Do you have the strength to go on?

Keep on walking
Keep on moving
They're all behind you now
And they're cheering for you

Keep on walking
Keep on moving
It's all that they wanted you to do
To keep on forward, never look back

Don't you think that they knew?
That they will be here only for a little while longer?
That they want to see you stand up on your own?
That they may never see your again?

Go on walking
Go on moving
But never forget 'em
The one that push you forward

Go on walking
Go on moving
And all along the way
Take their hand and pull them forward!


A journey to the uncertain future is always a hard one
Those we love will never be with us forever
We will love, we will say goodbyes, and we will love again

But never shall we be lonely
For we will be always be loved

No matter whether we can see them or not
They shall always be with us
Forever and always, until all of us meet again.

A meeting of three friends, who happened to be poets.....

Sky

The endless blue sky
Upon my window
The unlimited freedom
Where none shall return
Lost within the infinity

Dare I go there?
Forever free with no direction?

A heavy iron shackle
With its grim, cold chain
Welcome me to its warm embrace
A reassuring bond to the earth

But yearning, I will
A morbid curiousity
Torn in indecision

To fly unbound to the new world
Or to snuggle warmly at home,
Forever chained to comfort.


chaosbeowulf, 08 January 2007, @Texas Chicken Mal Taman Anggrek.
(with some modification from its original form. nothing much, though.)

Desire

Not to be satisfied
But to be quenched

Not to be abruptly ended
But to be perpetually continued

Not to be released uncontrolled
But to be gently held

Not to be divine
But to be humane

For human beings we are
And thus, humanely we act

Chaosbeowulf, 14 August 2006

Penantian ~ A lame try to create an Indonesian language blog entry

Berjalan
Tanpa tujuan
Melangkah
Tidak berarah

Dimana matahari tidak berseri
Dan aku hanya sendiri
Dilingkupi kubah kesunyian
Sebuah perjalanan tanpa nyanyian

Ah, sesekali angin berdesir
Berbisik tanpa bisa ditafsir
Merekalah kawan-kawanku
Melewati tanah ini, yang beku

Menikmati masa yang tak kunjung tiba
Disertai pandangan penuh iba
Oleh mereka yang mencinta
Oleh mereka yang turut menderita

Janganlah lagi menunggu
Lepaskanlah apa yang membelenggu
Berlarilah tanpa henti
Mereka telah lama menanti

by chaos_beowulf

Tired old man......

Old Soul

An old soul
Trapped in a young body
Struggling for freedom
But what is a soul without a body?

Expecting instant maturation
Remembering past life
Continuing old life?
Afraid of the future?

A soul lead astray
In the intersection of age
Resignation of the elders,
or naivete of youths?

Ah, such choices!
Is there any compromise?

Savouring life by the seconds
Oblivious of the past or the future
Keep walking on, lad!
There is no such thing as time!

A case of inadequate translation~~~~

Dingin Tak Tercatat

Dingin tak tercatat
pada termometer

Kota hanya basah

Angin sepanjang sungai
mengusir, tapi kita tetap saja

disana. Seakan-akan

gerimis raib
dan cahaya berenang

mempermainkan warna.

Tuhan, kenapa kita bisa
bahagia?

Goenawan Mohamad, 1971.



Unregistered Chill

Unregistered chill
on the thermometer

A drenched city

The wind along the river
extrudes, but we dwelled on

there. As if

the drizzle fades away
and the light were swimming,

playing with colours.

God, why can we attain
happiness?


chaosbeowulf, 2006.

Lost in translation ~~~~

Expatriate
By Goenawan Mohamad

Akulah Adam dengan mulut yang sepi
Putra Surgawi
yang damai, terlalu damai
ketika bumi padaku melambai

Detik-detik bening
memutih tengah malam
ketika lembar-lembar asing
terlepas dari buku harian

Dan esoknya terbukalah gapura:
pagi tumbuh dalam kabut yang itu juga
dan aku pergi
dengan senyum usia yang sunyi

Langkah akan bergegas antara pohonan lenggang
bersama bayang-bayang unggas, bersama awan
Sementara arus hari
menyusup-nyusup indra ini

(Adakah yang lebih tak pasti
selain tanah-kelahiran
yang ditinggalkan pergi
anak tersayang)

The book's translation:

I am Adam of no word
Heaven's child
at peace, too at peace
when the earth beckons me

Moments translucent
turn white in the night
when foreign pages
slip from the diary

And tomorrow a gate will open:
morning rises from the very same mist
and I depart
with the silent chuckle of age

Feet hastening between sparse trees
in step with the shadow of birds, of clouds
While the course of the day
seeps into the senses

(Is there anything less certain
than a homeland
left behind by
a beloved son)

Chaosbeowulf's translation:

I am the silent Adam
A child of Heaven
Peaceful, too peaceful
When the earth hails me

Translucent moments
Whitening midnight
When foreign pages
Are detached from the diary

And the day after, the gate is opened:
Morning grows in its very mist
and I depart
with silent smile of ages

Rushed strides between sparse trees
Together with shadow of birds, and the clouds
While the course of the day
gently nudge the senses

(Is there anything more uncertain
than the land of birth
that was left behind
by the beloved child)


Comments, anyone? A practice of English now and then won't hurt me.....

Desperation

In the brink of insanity
I try to reason with my conscience
For absurdity has dropped its mask
And the real face of the truth is ugly indeed

As if the world has fated to meet its doom
I try to flee away from the reality
But alas, how fast the grim reaper walk!
And I don't have any wings to fly with.....

Concealed deep within the womb of mother earth
My soul awaits its reborned vessel
Almighty Lord, I plead thee
Release me from the curse of the flesh!


Written 28 September 2004.

Oops, did I missed last night's update? >.<

Stars

A little star
in the big black sky
So small and lonely,
but it's truly beautiful
when it's viewed from faraway.

There are so many stars out there
When one disappear,
Will anyone take notice?

Insignificant in larger picture,
But it is still important
For it is still a single entity.

If we happen to be the star,
What will we do?
When noone will notice our existence,
Let alone our thoughts and feelings?

At least, we're not alone
there are lonely little stars out there
who will give us their light
in our darkest time of life


Written 21 May 2004


Hand Palm

Lingering thoughts, awaits to be settled.
Hopes and fears for the futures,
who are we to know all of it?

Mysteries in life, awaits to be revealed,
With the steady movement of the hands of time.

It is unfortunate that human's patience is so thin,
that they cannot admire the beauty of something unbeknownst to them.


One can either
practice one's patience,
and employ it in such an extraordinary way,
that one can savour whatever the future holds,

OR
one can refer to one's palm,
and impatiently read whatever fate drawn
in the palm of one's hand.

Written 25 May 2004

Nighttime!

Relaxing at Night

Sitting in a sofa
Sipping a hot cup of chocolate
Relaxing from the hectic days
Gathering the scattered mind
So that it won't be lost

The lights were dimmed
A jazzy tone were played
By a little radio in the corner
A movie from the day's experience
Were played inside the mind

"Ah, it's been quite hectic...
But well, it ends already.
Why bother?
Consider it as another beautiful day!"

Slowly, time passes by
Not long, it's well over midnight
The mind needs its rest
And the soul needs a stroll
Inside the quiet park of dream
Ah, be it a nice dream,
and not a nightmare!!!


Written on 19 February 2004

Memoires

Standing there,
On the end of the line
watching all those memories
Our memories

It is not always sweet
Even it is bitter sometimes

What is bitter,
Will be forgiven within time
But it will never be forgotten
For the lessons imposed
Will always worth remembering

But what is sweet,
We will always remember it
With fondness and love
They will never fade away

Sometimes,
We may look like we have no future
Other times,
We may look like there is no tomorrow

Life is funny, isn't it?
It revolves in a circle
An unbroken circle, unless severed
But then,
For every single thing
That has been broken,
There will always be a chance
To repair it, isn't it?

The chance is in our hands
That, my friend, is what is worth remembering.


Written on 14 December 2003

My Friends

Friends are like winds
They come and go
But their presence are felt
As long as we remember
How does it feel
To be touhed by the winds

Friends are like sun
They shine our life
But unfortunately
It is not going to be forever
Because the sun will set
But they will not be forgotten
For in the darkness
After the sun has set
We will still remember
The warmth of the sun

Friends are like raindrops
They fill the empty places
That was on the heart of the earth
Maybe they will dry out
But never, the earth
Will forget how does it feel
To be drenched by the grace
Of the rain of kindness.

My friends
Never do forget me
For I will never forget you
If we want to remember each other
If we want to meet each other
Just try to look at
the winds, the sun, and the rain
For I will be there for you
And you will be there for me

This poem is dedicated to all of my friends, both to those who have forgotten that I do exist, and for those who are my true friends.



Written on 6 November 2003

Violin

A single violinist
Draws the bow
Over the string
Preparing for the first stroke

Entering the overture
The symphony of emotions
Of hearts and minds
Has begun

Under the spotlight
The lonely violin
Songs its story
The story of a journey

The journey for an identity
For principals and idealism
For one's existence
For one's place in the world

Throughout the encore
The lively violin
passionately songs
The story of romance

Searching for the love
That is to be found and lost
Waiting in the vain of eternity
Lost in the midst of virtue

Reaching the finale
The enigmatic violin
Mysteriously songs
The story of tomorrow

The hopes of the future
Clasped with bare hands
Praying for blessings
To face absolute uncertainty


Written on 22 October 2003.

Betraying my solitude

Betraying my solitude
Returning from my exile
Breaking the chain
The prison of my freedom

Freedom to think
Freedom to feel
Freedom to lose
Freedom to fail

To think about others
To feel other's heart
To embrace each defeat
To learn from every failure

My thought will return
from its contemplation
My heart will return
from its grief
My body will return
from the virtue of the ashes

Everything will come together
The Three Elements...
They will be unified
All is integrated
By the soul

It is only then
A complete human will flourish

Reborned with Passion
Strengthened with Spirit
Encompassed with Determination
and baptised by Faith


Written on 9 October 2003.

Reluctant poet

Shall I write again?
Do I have what is needed?
So that I can relish my feelings,
And turn it into words?

What was recently written,
was as premature as it can be.
A piece that was never meant to be,
but forcefully crafted,
only to satisfy some foolish virtuous reasons,
Deviating from its original path of creation.

Now that the conscience has been re-awakened,
will the essence of soul in the words
gonna be the same as before?

For any changes was currently not embraced,
for it will erode what still remains,
if there is any remnant to be worried about.


Written on 15/12/2004